Find Breathing Space With…

During last Saturday’s workshop, Rev. Dr. David Zuniga spoke about ways to lessen the grip of pain and anxiety to help you build a more resilient mind.

At one point he shared the research on the power of oxytocin (the “love hormone”) to reduce pain, increase compassion, and more.

I immediately had this vision of a “hit” of oxytocin creating breathing space internally to give us moments to discern the right next step. For who can think clearly or hear inner wisdom when pain levels are high?

In times of high stress, pain, or anxiety, a free, healthy way to quickly bring the intensity down to a more manageable level is a resource to be added to our self care tool chest. Yet, it’s often forgotten because it’s so simple, or we imagine it’s a nice thought with no proof behind it.

But, as Zuniga pointed out on Saturday, there is research supporting the benefits. And, thankfully, he noted research also supports how practicing Loving Kindness Meditation gives you similar benefits to connecting with others. It turns out that when you offer prayers of kindness towards those you love, the world, and yourself, you’re giving yourself some oxytocin.

A staple of many mindfulness practices, there are numerous versions offered online, with optimal benefits arising when you bring to mind (either visually or via other senses) the person or community you’re offering the blessing to. For example, one version offered on PositvePsychology.com begins with you:

May I be filled with love and kindness

May I be safe

May I be well

May I be happy and at ease

(after repeating a few times, move on to May WE be…, then on to May YOU be…)

Ideally, this meditation becomes a daily practice, but, at minimum, it deserves a spot in your selfcare tool chest. What other practices would you add to raise your oxytocin? Understanding it’s a sure fire way to create breathing space within when you need it gives that spontaneous hug, loving gaze , or act of kindness a boost to its already inherent value.

May you be filled with love and kindness. May you be safe. May you be well. May you be happy and at ease. And, as you receive this, may you find some blessed breathing space within.

“When dogs and humans make eye contact, that actually releases what’s know as the love hormone, oxytocin, in both the dog and the human.”

― Brian Hare

Sunday Morning Early

Offered today in honor and memory of beloved fathers everywhere.
Happy early Father’s Day!

My daughter and I paddle red kayaks
across the lake. Pulling hard,
we slip easily through the water.
Far from either shore, it hits me
that my daughter is a young woman
and suddenly everything is a metaphor
for how short a time we are granted:
the red boats on the blue-black water,
the russet and gold of late summer’s grasses,
the empty sky. We stop and listen to the stillness.
I say, “It’s Sunday, and here we are
in the church of the out of doors,”
then wish I’d kept quiet. That’s the trick in life—
learning to leave well enough alone.
Our boats drift to where the chirring
of grasshoppers reaches us from the rocky hills.
A clap of thunder. I want to say something truer
than I love you. I want my daughter to know that,
through her, I live a life that was closed to me.
I paddle up, lean out, and touch her hand.
I start to speak then stop.

―David Romtvedt, from Dilemmas of the Angels, and featured in Healing the Divide: Poems of Kindness & Connection, edited by James Crews.